Working With Difficult People

In any discipline, and in fact at any point in your life, you will inevitably work with people that are difficult in some way. There are many ways in which your work can potentially be affected by the actions or presence of another, some of them are more obvious than others. It can also be a testament to your professionalism when dealing with difficulties, and knowing when to throw in the towel is an important threshold to be aware of. 

Before we continue, this is almost a follow up post from when I wrote about ‘When It All Goes Wrong (Live)’ and related to my blog post on the subject of ‘What Not to Do On Stage’ (both can be read here and here respectively). However, in this post I will be writing with the context of other people causing some of the issues you may face and how you can deal with them.

Attitude

This is not necessarily something I have come across too frequently in my career so far, but on occasion you will come across a person that ticks all of the musical boxes you need and in some cases, exceeds expectations. However, the major sticking point is that they are not humble, and their attitude can start to grate on the other musicians in your band and other figures within the industry (promoters, sound engineers, technicians etc). I recall a story recounted to me by a friend who was working as a sound engineer in a small, grass-roots music venue in the United Kingdom. A band came to play at the venue and the guitar player waltzed in, demanded three different and very specific microphones for his guitar cabinet, precise measurements and angles for their place, where he wanted his monitors on stage as well as a plethora of other ridiculous requests. The response given was “I have an SM57, and your singer gets the only monitor” - rest assured that diva fit of epic proportions quickly ensued. 

Despite the fact that the guitarist, and the rest of the band, ended up playing a pretty good set, they were never invited to play at the venue again. In my personal experience with something like this, we had to draft a substitute player for one show - that player tried to take over proceedings. As a player, he was fantastic but we simply had to bring in someone else for the next show. 

The trick in this situation is knowing how much they can push their luck. Are the benefits of their performance outweighing the negative parts of their personality? I would offer the advice though, that sometimes the difficulties might come from a place of ignorance; they might not realise they are causing a problem. If you mention it to them, the way they react will surely tell you how to move forward. If they change or tone it down, then all is well. If they blow-up and become worse then it would be wise to continue without them.

Skill Level

Whilst it is true that there is no such thing as the ‘world’s best guitarist’, and saying that one person is better than the other is a small-minded sentiment. However, you have to take into account when, where and it what context you are playing (or recording, writing etc). If you are headlining a festival, and your friend can barely hold together the power chord section that you have been teaching him for six months, is it really in your interest to keep him on? Maybe they are a financial help to the band, or are just great fun to be around beyond existing friendships.

If they can’t pull their weight, what are you going to do? My advice would be to work with the person, be honest with them and the difficulties you face. Playing a small, cover song laden set at a local bar is a more forgiving environment, and if your drummer always misses a push in the rhythm, You can pass it of easily. You will have bigger things to worry about on a bigger stage!

I would also suggest keeping ‘work’ and ‘play’ bands separate. I have had professional gig experience where I had so much fun that I did not consider it work, but also my fair share of shows where I did what I was there for, but made a swift exit as soon as I could.

How Clueless Are They?

Sometimes you will come across a person that technically is pretty good at what they do, at least on the surface of the situation, but they really are out f their depth. For example, some artists I have worked with, alongside peers and colleagues, have not quite understood the concept of travel expenses for their band members, especially those that are hired guns, which is to say they were not part of the band as such. It became necessary in this case to secure travel payment before the show, and an ultimatum must be delivered in this case. 

There are also times when a venue owner or promoter assures you that there is sufficient back line equipment for you to use. Many years ago, I played a show with some fellow students whilst at university, and we were told there was everything we needed on location already. So the band (two guitars, drums, two vocals, keys and bass) showed up to find the whole PA system and back line consisted of… a small bass amp and nothing else. The strange events that happened after are worthy of a blog post of their own, but we managed to pull it off, not with that equipment though! In this situation you might just have to call it a day, which is never a fun thing to do!

As a teacher, sometimes students have incredibly lofty goals that are quickly reevaluated, or least put on the back burner. For example, a company I worked for in the United Kingdom had an enquiry for guitar lesson. Here are the details, an older adult had asked for guitar lessons so he could surprise his friend by playing his favourite song, Gary Moore’s ‘Parisienne Walkways’, at an upcoming birthday party. He had less than one month, had no musical experience before and did not even own a guitar. This is a tall order and, as much as we enjoyed a challenge, we had to explain to the potential student how well this would likely work out… they did not even show up to the trial lesson. 

Other Issues

Here are a few other issues to think about. Although they are in less detail, their importance should not be understated.

Body Odor

As gross as this sounds, being in a confined rehearsal space with someone that smells bad is not a pleasant experience. Granted, there are degrees to this problem, but usually a good wash and some deodorant will alleviate any problems.

Availability

People often lead busy lives and, even if they are perfect in every way, they might have other commitments that take priority over a band. It could be work/other bands, family commitments or geographical restrictions. The best course of action here is to go with another player who is more reliable and likely to show up.

Integrity

As impossible as it is to believe, I have heard of band members joining a band and then deciding, usually without any prior warning, that they would rather stay at home and play video games than attend a rehearsal or other kind of session. Here are some other lines I have heard in the past:

”Oh, I forgot”

”I just didn’t feel like it”

”I decided to go for a drink instead. It’s ok, I know the songs though”

The solution is easy, it is the same as above. Go with someone else, and at this point it would be worth forgoing and friendship attachments when removing them from the band. The main difference is that the genuinely busy individual will fully understand, whereas in this situation the person will likely cry and moan.

I once saw a band that had their lead singer decide on the morning of a show, opening for a national touring band with a large online presence, that he just didn’t feel like performing that day. He was not ill, busy or otherwise indisposed, he just didn’t want to play. They promptly sacked him from their band and the drummer stepped up, took it upon himself to learn the lyrics for all the songs that day and sing lead vocals himself - that is what rock and roll is about!

Final Thoughts

One huge thing you must always remember is that no two situations are alike. You might come across any combination of issues, and there are plenty besides that I have not included. Take the advice I have given, perhaps ask your guitar teacher or some friends for their experience, and prepare the best you can. Be aware that sometimes problems might not appear straight away and will develop over time.

I was once told that when you start taking driving lessons, you are taught to pass your test (and operate the vehicle safely!), but the real learning begins when you start driving on the road - years of experience cannot simply be taught. It is similar to playing the guitar and dealing with difficult people like we have been discussing. The more it happens, and it will at some point believe me, the better you get at dealing with the issue and knowing when to pull out of a bad situation.