Dealing With Jealousy

To kick off this blog post, let me first repeat myself by saying that there is no such thing as one person being better than another person; we are all on our own journey, and some of us are further along that journey. 

Of course, there is an element of subjectivity when it comes to assessing the skill set of a musician. For example, I would say that I was better at tapping than BB King was, but that particular musician was not interested in that technique therefore the comparison is irrelevant. There are always times when you feel jealous of another individual when comparing things like playing, image, tone and even just the gear - it is inevitable. Today I want to talk a little bit about how you can overcome that initial feeling of jealousy and turn it into a more positive experience.

Tone and Gear

Some time ago I wrote a blog post comparing expensive vs cheap gear (you can read it here if you are interested!). I argued the point that although having expensive gear is very nice it is not really necessary (at any level of the industry). 

As I have matured as a person and as a musician, I have learned to recognise what I like, what I do not like and reasons for both. The gear I use regularly is based on my own experiences for the most part. Alongside my Suhr Classic S (which is the most expensive part of the gear I use) I also use my small and modest pedalboard with the following pedals:

Wireless transmitter - Boss TU-3W - Mission Expression pedal - Line 6 HX Stomp - Masatone Caesar X (overdrive/boost)

Without being too specific, I use the wireless because I like to move on stage, the Boss Waza craft tuner because it has a switchable buffer if I need it, the Mission Expression pedal because it was designed to work perfectly with the Line 6 HX Stomp and I use that because it is small and sounds great. The drive pedal I use because it helps free up some processing power from the HX Stomp. With this gear I can go through an amp or into a PA system with ease, and have done so all over the world. 

Compared to some, this might seem extravagant and to others, my set-up would be just barely passable. However, at a recent live show I witnessed a guitar player from one of the other bands play a great set and he sounded amazing - yes, I was jealous! He was playing with a Squier guitar that I later found out cost only 10,000jpy from a second-hand store, and a Boss ME-70 - an older multi-fx unit. Before the show I had been toying with the idea of upgrading some of my signal path, but after watching this other guitarist perform and chatting to him afterwards I realized that so much could be achieved with what I already have. Obviously I knew this already, I just needed a swift kick in the right direction and to be brought back down to planet Earth.

The moral of the story is to understand that most people in the audience do not care what equipment you have, as long as you get a sound that fits what you are playing. Chances are you already have most of what you need to sound great, you just might need to understand your gear a little better. 

Technique

Please, whatever you do, try to avoid gatekeeping in any shape or form. If someone is shredding over a blues track, let them do it unless it is your song or you are the musical director. Gatekeeping often stems from a jealous place, whether you care to admit it or not. 

It goes without saying that you should be comfortable in your abilities when playing or recording material, but regardless of who you are, there will always be someone who can play that little bit faster, bend a bit smoother or pick squeal better than you can. If you come across someone who can do alternate picking faster than you, try to just be impressed and join them for the ride. If you have a desire to emulate that or a requirement to do so based on a song you are learning or writing, then just be aware that, just like I said before, they are further along their own pathway and you will get there eventually. 

When I was younger, seeing a video or performance or someone more technically proficient than myself made me want to quit. Now it just inspires me to play and practice even more, it is the best mindset to be in!

Another important angle on this is that technique does not equal success. I have students that can play guitar better than Ed Sheeran, and I have no doubt that in a guitar battle between myself and Kirk Hammett I would emerge the victor, but is there any doubt with who is more successful? Success is also a subjective term, and it depends on what your goals are for the instrument. 

Image

In previous blog posts I have touched upon the subject, but this still holds true - people listen with their eyes! I am the last person to come to for fashion and style advice, so I will talk more about playing with a humble sense of comfort. 

No one likes to see a cocky know-it-all onstage, and likewise they do not want to see someone turn in on themselves and shut out the crowd they are there to perform for. Be confident, but not overly so and it will take you a long way. Regarding playing specifically, I would rather see a metal band headbanging away whilst playing a simpler version of a riff than some statues that are devoid of any passion because they are too deep in concentration. If you play a blindingly good set, but just stay still then people will not be engaged by your performance - there is more than just the playing at hand. 

As a professional musician, and a teacher of students at all levels, I usually notice when a band, especially the guitarist, makes small mistakes. This does not always happen, but we are all human and so the small issues do not really register in my brain - unless they get something deliberately wrong or commit any of the points I warn of in my blog post on the subject of ‘What Not to Do Onstage’ (read it here!). I have seen performers that were… passable in terms of what they performed, but the crowd went wild regardless. It is like they were blind to what was really going on! It is normal to be jealous and think “wow, I played way better than they did, how come people are cheering harder for them?”. Look beyond the playing, how do they carry or present themselves? There may be a way for you to use that as inspiration and make some personal progress.

Final Thoughts

Every day is an opportunity to learn, and if it is not, then it is a chance to teach and help bring somebody up. Another important factor in this myriad of complex issues is age - too many people hold the assumption that just because a person is older, then they are more skilled, this is not the case. It may be more likely that they have more experience, though! Many of my own students are older than me, and I have likewise been floored by those younger than myself. There is no shame in asking someone who is younger than you for advice, speak to them as a fellow musician rather than an elder. 

Be careful to think about your goals and whether or not you are on the way to achieving them. If you feel jealous of someone in any aspect similar to what we have discussed today, then maybe it is time to reevaluate your goals. 

I hope that reading some of what I said here today is helpful to you if you have experienced any form of jealousy regarding your instrument. For specific advice, I would always recommend speaking directly to your guitar teacher, as I am confident they will have a wealth of personal and professional experiences to draw upon.